Be sure to not eat anything before reading this that you don’t want to see again in a few minutes.

I can’t believe that I’m of the same species as these scum.

Yeah, scum. pond scum. The scum you scrape off rotting deli meat. I’m talking about YOU!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

One of the few TV shows I’ll watch if I happen to be parked in front of the idiot box and it happens to be on is Dragons Den. Dunno why, but I find it entertaining. But news emerged yesterday that my fave Dragon, Brett Wilson, won’t be returning next season. Seems that the MotherCorp and Mr. Wilson are at odds over something. Probably money.  Too bad – he was the compassionate and understanding one on the show. Who will they replace him with? Maybe this guy:

The Toronto Maple Leafs – playoff bound. Deal with it. Great win over the hated Habs last night.  But that was apparently not due to a game well-played but attributable to due to my Hab-loving brother-in-law forgetting to read the Montreal-win-guaranteeing bedtime story to my niece last night. Thanks Steve!

Gas prices. They suck, don’t they. A buck 20 here in Ottawa. This time the excuse is the unrest in Libya. But really, can’t anything be twisted by the oil companies to justify higher prices? Just for fun, I’ve listed a few more high price justifications that Big Oil might want to add to their list for future use.

• Rabid bats swoop in on the National Cheesemakers Association annual picnic.
• 15% increase in taxi fares in Bogota
• A whooping crane is sighted in Parry Sound
• Vladimir Putin is photographed riding a horse while bare-chested
• Muammar Ghadaffi gets a haircut
• John Baird shows signs of civility

Speaking of Ghadaffi, I wonder how long he’ll be able to hold on to power. Anyone want to start a pool?

Looks like the ReformCons might be paying a wee bit for the whole lying thing. Then again, maybe not. I’m starting to lose complete faith in the judgement of many of my fellow Canadians.

OC Transpo? ATU? Don’t you dare!

Private property rights to be enshrined in the Constiution? You betcha, if two Con pols have their way. But really, isn’t this just a little publicity stunt? It is certainly something that Randy “stay of my land, gub-er-ment… oh wait, I AM gub-er-ment now” Hillier is familiar with.

But what the hell, why not? And why you’re add it boys, why not add an amendment that allows for the elimination of Ontario’s separate school system! Now THAT would be progress!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

TMLHC – Canada’s team.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

After almost 2 decades, Mats Sundin is hanging up the blades.

He was the face of my beloved Leafs for a long, long time and when he is inducted into the Hall, it will be in the Blue and White.

Tack, Mats

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

My blue and white blood desperately wants this to work out. Phil Kessel is a class act. Talented. Young. Tough. Potential to lead us to the Promised Land… fer sur.

But something about giving up 2 first rounders and a second just does not sit right. Based on history, Kessel may be soft, end up on the sidelines for an extended period and all that has been given up will never be regained.

I hope I am being really paranoid.

On the up side, they kept Kaberle. All along I have been saying why give up a puck-moving d-man for picks, spare parts and potentials… Tomas is the real deal and would be a first liner and PP guy on ANY team… and I like his style… hope he is around for a long time to come.

The TMLHC – Canada’s team

I need a Cup.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

Answer

Please, alien overlords, come to Earth and smite all of those weak-kneed liberal stupid-heads. And bring some more sweater-vests too!

Question

What would Stephen Harper say if he had a chance to send a message to the stars?

I am by no means a science geek or someone who stares into the night sky looking for E.T.  (though as a kid I did… grew out of it I guess… too bad in a way). But I did run across this neat site that the Aussie Government has set up. A site dedicated to leaving a message for a planet far, far away…

Here’s how they describe the project

At COSMOS magazine, we thought it would be a cool way to celebrate National Science Week in Australia – and the International Year of Astronomy – by sending a message to a potentially habitable planet outside the Solar System.

Thanks to the support of Australia’s Department of Innovation, Industry, Science and Research, the CSIRO and NASA, and a bunch of other really helpful people, the text messages collected on this site will be transmitted to the closest Earth-like planet that might harbour life: Gliese 581d.

At the end of Science Week, NASA will transmit the messages to Gliese 581d using the Canberra Deep Space Communication Complex in Tidbinbilla.

Here are some of the messages – mostly from down-under – that will be sent to Mssrs Orn and Turng of Gliese 581d:

You are cordially invited to an Interplanetary BBQ. 6.00pm, 4th October, 2452 at my place BYO Meat and Beer. RSVP: Year 2100 Cheers
Daniel Edmonds
Melbourne, Australia

How is it that you understand English? That’s very convenient!

Sophie

Sydney, Australia

Hello from planet Earth. Please tell us how you don’t get dizzy in your spinning UFO’s – I get sick looking at Merry-Go-Rounds. Are you Aliens good looking ?

Billy

Portland Victoria, Australia

Hi. I need some new friends. Anyone out there interested ? Preferably quirky and a little left of centre. cheers !

liz

Canberra, Australia

And my message

By the time you read this, I’m sure the Toronto Maple Leafs will have won the Cup a hundred times and Canada’s conservatives will have never won a majority.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

Zezel was one of my fave Leafs back in the early 90′s when we came oh-so-close to ending the drought.

No a big D-man – especially by today’s standards – but was a tough checker who held his own against larger players.

I remember reading about his rare and horrible disease a few years back. It was, by all accounts, really tough on the guy… especially the meds that he had to take to control the disease  – which caused massive weight gain.  For an ex-pro athlete, losing control of your body like that must have been hellish.

So long Peter, Leaf Nation mourns your loss.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

As many of you know, I am a lifelong and true-blue fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey Club.

I bleed blue and white and I long for the day that the Cup is returned to the place where it belongs. Well, that day is still I few years off, I reckon. But for now, we of Leaf Nation can be happy with the class that we display from time to time.  We are often accused of being arrogant lot – and maybe we are.

But last night, the Leaf fans at the ACC showed a level of respect that transcended any perceived arrogance.

Mats Sundin was one of the greatest Leafs ever. He left last year and many thought that he was bound fr retirement. Before the 2008 trading deadline, he was asked to waive the no trade clause in his contract so the team could trade him as a “rental” player to a contending team and receive a young gun or a draft pick as compensation.  His refusal to do so and his subsequent signing with the Canuck in late 2008 raised the ire of some and his signing brought forth accusations of opportunism and hypocrisy.

But he didn’t owe us anything. Nada. He gave 13 seasons trying to get to the Promised land and only got close on a couple of occasions. He was class personified. And I truly believe that he will always think of himself as a Toronto Maple Leaf and when he inducted into the Hall of Fame, he will wear the blue and white.

Thanks mats and thanks to the fans at the ACC last night. You made me proud.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

The Dippers have won a seat in Québec!!!!! Outrement is theirs!!!!

The freezing over of Lucifer’s ‘hood surely must mean that….

The Leafs WILL indeed win the Cup this year!

I had better book my hotel room now for the post season celebrations that will take the city (and the nation) by storm! Come to think of it, I should stake out my spot along the parade route – just to be sure!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario