… through one of those “save-save-save!” sites…

What the frick would Aussies know about winter boots? I picture Australian winter boots as sandals with closed toes!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

I should have never consented to my daughter’s driving lessons…

And I sure as hell won’t be letting my 7-year-old get behind the wheel when she turns 16!

Wow! Who knew?

A report given to a high-level advisory group in Saudi Arabia claims that allowing women in the kingdom to drive could encourage premarital sex, a rights activist said Saturday.

The ultraconservative stance suggests increasing pressure on King Abdullah to retain the kingdom’s male-only driving rules despite international criticism.

Rights activist Waleed Abu Alkhair said the document by a well-known academic was sent to the all-male Shura Council, which advises the monarchy. The report by Kamal Subhi claims that allowing women to drive will threaten the country’s traditions of virgin brides, he said. The suggestion is that driving will allow greater mixing of genders and could promote sex.

Those crazy Saudis… a laugh a minute, they are…

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

… but aren’t they all?

No word on the number of human / vampire children, tho’…

100% disgusting!

$616 million — The value of “other miscellaneous by-products, including other processed, frozen or cooked meats” manufactured in Canada in 2009.  This category (311611U) includes “blood, dried, edible” and “blood, dried, inedible” as well as all kinds of other left-over animal parts.

$246 million — The value of “medicinal chemicals and botanical products, in bulk” manufactured in Canada in 2009. This category (3254114) includes plasma and other blood products, mostly from animals.

$62 million — The value of “in-vitro diagnostic substances” manufactured in Canada in 2009. This category (3254130) also contains blood plasma.

Source: Manufacturing and Energy Division.

See also: Annual Survey of Manufactures (ASM) – List of Goods.

---

Burial shrouds and bandages for mummies

$26 million — The value of “other apparel findings, trimmings and fabricated textile products” manufactured in Canada in 2009. This category (315999D) includes burial shrouds, used for burying the dead.

$304 million — The value of “surgical and therapeutic appliances and supplies…” manufactured in Canada in 2009. This category (3391139) includes bandages.

Source: Manufacturing and Energy Division.

See also: Annual Survey of Manufactures (ASM) – List of Goods.

---

A final resting place

3% — The proportion of households in Canada (more than 398,580 households) reporting expenses on funeral services, cemetery plots and upkeep, and tombstones in 2009.

Source: CANSIM, table 203-0015 (Survey of Household Spending).

$117.1 million — The estimated value of wood coffins and caskets manufactured in Canada in 2006. (More recent data are confidential.)

Source: Manufacturing and Energy Division.

---

Quiet professionals

Between 1996 and 2006, the number of female funeral directors and embalmers in Canada nearly doubled.

4,600 — The number of funeral directors and embalmers in Canada in 2006. Of this number, 3,235 were men and 1,365 were women.

3,735 — The number of funeral directors and embalmers in Canada 10 years earlier, in 1996. Of this number, 3,015 were men and 720 were women.

Source: 2006 Census, Occupation.

13,684 — The total number of employees in the funeral services industry in Canada in 2010.

Source: CANSIM, table 281-0024 (Survey of Employment, Payrolls and Hours).

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

… help watch SoCon heads explode when they see this, that is!

Let’s face it: vampires can rack up a lot of sexual partners over the years. Your vampire might be the same age as you, or she or he might be thousands of years old. But no matter how old you are, if you’re going to jump into bed with a vampire, you’re going to need more than a clove of garlic to protect your health.

Here are some things to think about before you enter into a sexual relationship with a vampire:

• • Vampires might be immortal, but you’re not. It’s important for both vampires and humans to get tested for STDs. Use this tool to find out if you should get tested for STDs.

• Ladies, just because a vampire says he can’t get you pregnant*, it doesn’t mean he can’t give you an STD. And guys, just because a vampire says she’s on the pill, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get an STD. Use a condom correctly every time.

• Don’t wait until you’re in the heat of the moment to bring up safer sex. Vampires have been known to “glamour” people to get their way, so play it safe and make it clear that you won’t have sex without protection right from the start.

• Remember, a vampire who doesn’t care about protecting your health is not the kind of vampire that you want to get involved with. Not sure if you’re dating the right vampire? We can help you figure it out.

• Let’s not forget, Edward got Bella pregnant in the Twilight series, going against hundreds of years of vampire lore. So even if your vampire tells you he can’t get you pregnant, why risk it? Condoms are not only a great way to prevent STDs, they’re effective at preventing pregnancy. Even better, use a condom along with another birth control method.
  

I can hear the regressive rumblings over at Blogging Tories already!

Prediction for @OttawaDaddy’s near future Tweet:

#Lefty org wants to kill baby #vampires. Murder is murder! #NDP atheist hordes behind this!! #catholic #prolife

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

And it destroyed 2 tomato plants and some mint!

Who can I sue???

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

This popped into my Inbox this morning.

I thought it was a recruitment drive for the NDP… I was going to send back a note asking them to cease the spam…

I was wrong.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

After a spiritual awakening that occurred at about 3:09 this morning, I have decided to discard the Trashy’s World that existed pre-3:09 am and instead dedicate it to the following purposes:

1) Praise and nothing but praise for our Prime Minister Stephen Harper! He, and those good men and women who serve him tirelessly are good and right. They always have been and always will be. This blog shall become a shrine to Good Stephen… and those who serve him.

2) I will post in praise of Ontario’s separate school system. I now see that a system of education that eschews God is a tool for the Devil. I will immediately be registering my children in Ottawa’s Catholic School system… or an even more traditional and pious system, if I can find one.

3) I shall no longer criticize those of Faith. Indeed, they and I are now one! I may even enter the priesthood if my wife is OK with that.

4) I shall no longer worship false idols like the Toronto Maple Leafs, Arsenal, Honesty in Politics, or Nice Weather. Instead, I shall honour only Saint Stephen and that big bearded guy in the sky.

5) This blog will nevermore use reason, evidence-based facts or logic upon which to make an argument. It will instead use dogma and spiritual guidance… and whatever Stephen says.

6) Speaking of the Leafs, I shall no longer… cheer for them… instead, I throw all of my allegiance behind the, uh, Montre….

NO – I CAN’T GO THAT FAR!

Happy April Fool’s Day everyone!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

When I’m bored, I wander around some of the American news outlet sites for my amusement. And I always find at least one item that makes me gag on my elitist latte. Tonight, reliable ol’ Fox News offers up this gem:

Nearly 4 in 10 Americans Say Natural Disasters Sign from God

Bwa-haa-haa!

That’s one damned vengeful omnipotent being they have down there! Wow! What could our American cousins have done to incur such WRATH??

Eric Metaxas, author of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About God, said that “according to the Bible, the world is NOT the way God wants it to be.”

Metaxas said he believes God created “a perfect world that somehow — in the Garden of Eden — became broken. … The rest of the Bible is the story of God trying to restore what was broken.”

I couldn’t find comparable numbers for we Canucks… but my hunch says that they would be even lower than the 14% of us who believe that humans played tennis with Dino the Dinosaur.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

Yeah, yeah… the Grits had their moments wasting money, but really… a BILLION ($1,000,000,000) dollars just to get a few votes?

A billion dollars might have been our national daycare program.

Or a whole shitload of medical equipment.

Or rapid transit between Calgary and Edmonton.

Or thousands of doctors and nurses.

Instead, Stevie gets to look all Prime Ministerial in front of some cameras.

How embarrassing for Canada.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

I can so see Harpy in the role of Benjamin Linus… sneaky, manipulative and willing to eat his young to further his agenda.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario