Trashy's World

Craziness abounds… the Onion Ring fan club has grown to beyond 44K!

Like I said before, this is a great example of how quickly a message – however a bit silly – can move along the social media stream.

I will be interested to see how the mainstream media and politicians respond to this. My guess is that it will be more or less ignored. But really, Iggy or Harpy really SHOULD show up at a photo op with a box of onion rings!

More than 44 thousand voters (or would-be voters) would get a kick outta that!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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There’s a fun little thing going on over at Facebook. Someone got the bright idea to see if an onion ring could garner more “fans” than Stevo. As of this morning, The Ring has  11,121 fans while the PM has over 29,000. And this “fan club” started just yesterday – as far as I can tell.

This is, of course, all in good fun and one shouldn’t try to read too much into this unprecedented groundswell of Onionosity in Canada. But this does should how viral the new media really can be and should be a cautionary note to public figures who do not recognize its power.

For the record, I predict that The Great and Wondrous Onion will have double the number of fans by the weekend.

It’s also a good laugh to scroll through some of the comments being posted on the site. Here’s a sampling:

Even though both make people cry, onions do it without intent!!!

Do you think A & W would give us corporate sponsorship? I’ve always liked their onion rings… mmmmm

This onion ring would NEVER take a 2-month holiday in the middle of my meal!

I think anything can get more fans than Stephen Harper. Harper does what he wants, leaving a horrible taste in our mouths. The onion ring is battered than fried and leaves a wonderful taste in our mouths.

One day, I wanted to buy a coffee, but I was 14 cents short, and this onion ring gave me a quarter … and even said ‘keep the change’ … that’s why I’m a fan!

This onion ring has suspended the production of all other onion rings until after the Olympics

Oh, and in the time it took for me to write this, His Whole-liness’s fan base has grown to 11,460.

ALL HAIL THE RING!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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Yeah, so I have scribbled a lot of bad things about our current PM.  I happen to think that he is a cynical, plotting bully who throws a hissy fit if things don’t go his way.

But an international bully? I didn’t think it was possible.

Yet, according to the Niono news source, our own Prime Minster has been a key part of a greater effort by the G-8 to goad Lichtenstein and Andorra into going to war with one another!

This, of course, is completely reprehensible! Why aren’t they covering this on The National?

The G8’s proposal, which seeks to pit the small, landlocked principalities against each other in military combat, was reportedly drafted after the leaders of the eight nations had grown bored with their recent negotiations over international energy tariffs.

“After much careful deliberation, we have come to the consensus that the nations of Liechtenstein and Andorra need to just man up and fight, ” said U.K. Prime Minister Gordon Brown during an afternoon recess. “All of the bigger countries want them to, and everyone agrees at this point that it would be quite lame if they didn’t. Therefore, I would advise Liechtenstein and Andorra to grow some balls already and get on with it.”

“This is going to be so hilarious,” said President Barack Obama, who plans to take time away from health care negotiations to oversee the distribution of heavily armored mobilized units to the citizens of Liechtenstein and Andorra. “Once they get into it, they’re going to go nuts. They’re just going to totally go off on each other.”

“I cannot wait,” he added.

In a final effort to ensure that the proposed confrontation between Liechtenstein and Andorra commenced tomorrow afternoon “without a hitch,” Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper held a press conference intended to persuade the two countries.

“Fucking just fight already!” Harper said. “Fight! Fiiiight! Fiiiiiiight!”

Um.

OK. I got most of that from The Onion… just bored with posting serious end of the world stuff like the flu, killer robots and wars…

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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The first Terminator has always been one of my fave flicks (1). A killer robot intent on changing the future by changing the past really got my attention. Arnie was über-cool and Linda Hamilton was pretty hot.

But the concept was pretty out there -- especially back in the mid-80’s. I mean, killer robots that look like humans build a time machine while warring with the human race in the then-distant 2029. As the tag line went back then:

In the Year of Darkness, 2029, the rulers of this planet devised the ultimate plan. They would reshape the Future by changing the Past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable. They created ‘THE TERMINATOR

Now, in 2009, 2029 is only 20 years away but still… pretty far-fetched, eh?

Which brings me to what has freaked me out.

Boston Dynamics is a small engineering and robotics firm spun off from MIT in 1982. According to its Web site it “builds advanced robots with remarkable behavior: mobility, agility, dexterity and speed.” Mostly military applications: the US Army, Navy, and the Marine Corps.

You might remember their robot dog a couple of years back. Cute little thing that didn’t pee in the corner and would do as told all of the time.

And there is this guy -- called Petman…

According to fastcompany.com, BD says its an “anthropomorphic robot for testing chemical protection clothing. “  Petman will balance itself and move freely; walking, crawling and will also simulate human physiology within the protective suit by sweating when necessary.”

This is the first generation of the machine.

What will Version 15.0 lo0k like?

And does Stevo have plans to create a body-double?

1. It’s likely tied with Predator - the only movie that I know of that starred not one but TWO future Governors!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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A Montréal man died today while parasailing in the downtown part of the city.

There are, apparently, no by-laws preventing someone from tying one end of a cord to a car and the other to a parasail. But Montréal police urge people to use common sense.

Of course, this IS Montréal. And I can sorta picture my brother-in-law doing something like this!

I wonder if, on my way home tonight,  I’ll be seeing daredevils bungee jumping from the Peace Tower… maybe motorcrossers on Albert Street?

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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According to the latest news out of D.C., PETA supporters brought three helpless baby seals to the Canadian embassy yesterday.  PETA – the loony-tunes element of the animal rights movement – wanted to protest the Canadian east coast seal hunt on the occasion of Stevo Harper’s most excellent Obama vacation.

But, upon being distracted by a billboard advertising Paul McCartney’s latest CD, PETA staff left the poor creatures to die on the hot, hard and unforgiving streets around Capitol Hill. The smell of rotting seal carcasses was noticed by bystanders for miles around.

The PETA personnel responsible for this travesty were tracked down soon after and arrested outside Washington’s Playboy mansion where they mistakenly believed the bunnies inside were of the long-eared variety.

DAMN YOU heartless PETA morons! Damn you to hell!

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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In other news…

School kids in Kent, England, voted overwhelmingly to send Marcus – a lamb raised by the classroom the time it was born as part of an agricultural awareness program or – a “this is where your meat comes from, stupid” program – to the slaughterhouse for some good chops.

Predictably sending parents, PETA, and other freaky folks into a frenzy.

Oh my f***ing gawd, say they…

“How can we expose our poor subunits to the vagaries of modern omnivorism??” ‘Tis shameful.

So who will be the lamb after the next election? Iggy? Stevo? Jackman?

Depends on who makes the wrong call… and who doesn’t win over the kids…

I don’t normally cull a whole story, but this one is worth the exception:

LONDON (Reuters) – A group of schoolchildren who reared a lamb from birth and named it Marcus has overridden objections by parents and rights activists and voted to send the animal to slaughter.

Marcus the six-month-old lamb has now been culled, the head teacher of the primary school in Kent confirmed on Monday, after the school’s council — a 14-member group of children aged 6 to 11 — voted 13-1 to have him killed.

The decision has provoked fury among animal-loving celebrities, animal and human rights campaigners and the parents of some of the children, and led to threats against Lydd primary school and its teachers, according to a member of staff.

Around 250 children at the school take part in a program designed to teach them about rearing and breeding animals.

The educational farm was started this year, with Marcus being hand-fed by the children. The children also look after ducks, chickens, rabbits and guinea pigs.

The intention had been to buy pigs with the money raised from slaughtering Marcus, but those plans have been put on hold following the furor created by the lamb’s culling. The school said the program may now have to be stopped.

“It’s all up in the air,” said a member of staff. “There’s been so much pressure on us as a result of all this.”

Despite that, the school said there had been overwhelming support among the children, the staff and most of the parents to have Marcus — a castrated male who could not have been used for breeding — sent to the slaughterhouse.

But opponents branded it heartless and cruel, with animal rights campaigners asking why Marcus could not have been used to teach the children about wool, and human rights campaigners worried about the emotional impact of Marcus’s death on the children.

A popular talkshow host offered to buy the lamb and give it sanctuary and Facebook groups sprung up to rally support to keep Marcus alive. But the children had the final say. The school defended the children’s decision, calling it educational.

“When we started the farm in spring 2009, the aim was to educate the children in all aspects of farming life and everything that implies,” the school said in a statement.

“The children have had a range of opportunities to discuss this issue, both in terms of the food cycle and the ethical aspect… It is important for everyone to move on from this issue, so the children can focus on their education.”

(Reporting by Luke Baker; Editing by Steve Addison)

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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Those of you who have known me for a while are aware of my complete, utter and unequivocal disdain for the Evil Empire (Walmart). I think this way for a number of reasons:

• The negative impact of these stores on urban development
• Their aversion to unions
• They alone are responsible for 85% of cheap crap imported from places like China and India
• A corporate culture that borders on religious

And I could go on and on.

Yet, even from the depths of something so insidious can rise something funny. And so it is the case here. The Resident Love Goddess was pointed to this site that posts random pics of Walmart shoppers; and some are freaking hilarious!

Check it out here if you are in need of a good chuckle or two!

Here’s an example:

Y’all like NASCAR? Do y’all like to keel stuff? Den come on down to da huntin’ headquaters and we’ll getcha fixed up! North Carolina

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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Answer

Please, alien overlords, come to Earth and smite all of those weak-kneed liberal stupid-heads. And bring some more sweater-vests too!

Question

What would Stephen Harper say if he had a chance to send a message to the stars?

I am by no means a science geek or someone who stares into the night sky looking for E.T.  (though as a kid I did… grew out of it I guess… too bad in a way). But I did run across this neat site that the Aussie Government has set up. A site dedicated to leaving a message for a planet far, far away…

Here’s how they describe the project

At COSMOS magazine, we thought it would be a cool way to celebrate National Science Week in Australia – and the International Year of Astronomy – by sending a message to a potentially habitable planet outside the Solar System.

Thanks to the support of Australia’s Department of Innovation, Industry, Science and Research, the CSIRO and NASA, and a bunch of other really helpful people, the text messages collected on this site will be transmitted to the closest Earth-like planet that might harbour life: Gliese 581d.

At the end of Science Week, NASA will transmit the messages to Gliese 581d using the Canberra Deep Space Communication Complex in Tidbinbilla.

Here are some of the messages – mostly from down-under – that will be sent to Mssrs Orn and Turng of Gliese 581d:

You are cordially invited to an Interplanetary BBQ. 6.00pm, 4th October, 2452 at my place BYO Meat and Beer. RSVP: Year 2100 Cheers
Daniel Edmonds
Melbourne, Australia

How is it that you understand English? That’s very convenient!

Sophie

Sydney, Australia

Hello from planet Earth. Please tell us how you don’t get dizzy in your spinning UFO’s – I get sick looking at Merry-Go-Rounds. Are you Aliens good looking ?

Billy

Portland Victoria, Australia

Hi. I need some new friends. Anyone out there interested ? Preferably quirky and a little left of centre. cheers !

liz

Canberra, Australia

And my message

By the time you read this, I’m sure the Toronto Maple Leafs will have won the Cup a hundred times and Canada’s conservatives will have never won a majority.

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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Police have called off the search for something that several folks saw bright lights seemingly crash into the Ottawa River.

Given that the helicopters, boats and divers have come up empty-handed, whatever it was that made its mysterious appearance and disappearance is up for grabs. But I have some suggestions as to possible identity of what crashed and burned.

1. Mayorlarry’s future as mayorlarry
2. Dany Heatley’s future as an Ottawa Senator
3. Stephen Harper’s chances of a majority government – ever
4. A UCM (unidentified cabinet Minister) who dared to RSVP “yes” to the invitation to the Mulroney 25th anniversary bash next month
5. The next Conservative Communications Director falling from the heavens
6. Thor – the thunder god – smiting Ottawa with yet another bolt of lightning
7. Michael J. Fox in a Bricklin
8. David Miller jumping – or being pushed – from a plane
9. An OC Transpo bus taking a really wrong turn off the bridge… and failing to call out the stop
10. Barack Obama making a secret visit back to Ottawa to pick up a few more of those yummy maple cookies

Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario

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