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September, 2015:

Hey CPC! Leave Canadian icons be!

So it is becoming painfully obvious that the CPC is feeling the pressure and are actually considering the possibility that they may not form the next government. Hence, the shorts pants in the PMO have launched a pre-planning campaign to counter such an eventuality.

Code named “Operation Impending Doom (OID)”, the strategy is to trot out and associate the CPC brand with as many Canadian icons who will agree to cooperate. And for those who do not go long with OID, they will use them anyways – and apologise later.

First was Wayne ” took-way-too-many-elbows-to-the-noggin” Gretzky who positively gushed over how awesome a job Harper has been doing and how super it would be if he could continue to do such an awesome job! Cuz ol’ Wayne has spent the last few decades in the previously unknown province of “California” where #99 has been intently following the policy and program developments in the country of his birth.

Next was – Uh-OH – the desperate and weak attempt to link TERRY FOX with a Conservative election promise to give more funding for cancer research. Now Minister Moore and the PMO skipped over that chapter in the Canadian Politics 101 manual that talks about the dangers of politicising icons and diseases. It is a short chapter consisting of only 3 words:


The Fox family and the Foundation under Terry’s name came out to state in no uncertain terms that they did not consent to this link with Terry or the Foundation and that they remain completely non-partisan.

Federal Industry Minister James Moore had said Sunday that the Conservative government, if re-elected, would commit up to $35 million in matching donations raised during the annual Terry Fox Run.

Moore, who is not running for re-election, made the announcement in Port Moody, B.C., during the 35th iteration of the run. This year, the annual, non-competitive event aims to fundraise $35 million — one dollar for every Canadian.

The Terry Fox Foundation, an international non-profit, has avoided endorsing any particular party in the past. No one from the Fox family was present at the announcement.

When asked about the Fox clan, Moore nonetheless described the family as “enthusiastic . . . they think it’s great.”

Fox’s family then released a statement Monday clarifying that they “did not respond enthusiastically suggesting the idea was great as MP James Moore reported in yesterday’s Conservative announcement.”

“We will continue to make no public comments with respect to any federal party promises during the election campaign unless it is a unified all party announcement.”

Predictably, the CPC offered up a lame apology and backed away.

The damage to the ReformCon cause will likely be minimal but it is symbolic of how far this party will go to gain a few extra votes.

So, who’s next? What other Canadian icons will be hugged and loved by the PMO short pants? My mole inside Langevin Block leaked me the following list:

  1. Maple syrup. Good ol’ sirop d’érable will soon be touted as a Conservative invention and mandated to be dyed blue before sale.
  2. The beaver. At a rally to be soon held in small Manitoba town, Harper will come on stage cuddling a baby beaver and feeding it a bottle. He will claim that he has always had a soft spot for beavers. Always.
  3. Tim Hortons. OK. This one was done already when a group of people – presumably Albertans – tried to get a “boycott Tims” movement going because an outlet was running anti oilsands ads on one of its TV screens in the resto. The movement was an #epicfail.
  4. Totem poles – the totem pole is an aboriginal icon that the CPC will adopt for its own purposes by recarving the faces of Harper and past Conservative PM’s into the grand totem pole now housed in the Museum of History. The PMO will claim that nothing had changed and that Dief’s face was ALWAYS on the pole. No one had ever noticed before.
  5. The RCMP Musical Ride. An honoured iconic symbol of our nation. The ride will stay the same except for one small change. The music that the ride is choreographed to will be by Nickleback. Horses will bolt.
  6. The CBC. It will, of course be privatised and rebranded as the Sun News network. Angry Ezra will replace Mansbridge.
  7. Hockey. The Harperites will continue to march multi-millionaire hockey players in front of cameras as they declare their allegiance to the “low-taxes-for-the-rich” policies of the CPC.


How the Jays might affect the election results. Maybe.

Hey fans of sports and politics!

Check it out: if the Jays do win the AL East, they will be in the ALDS starting on October 8.

Advance polls are from the 9th to the 12, inclusive… meaning that on three of the five advance polling date, many would-be voters will be gathered in front of the TV those days rather than voting.


Annnddd… if the Jays do get to the ALCS – here are the dates for that:
alcsIn short, the parties had better key up their money-shot messages and hit the doorsteps before this kicks in. Because, you know what? Most of Canada might very well be caught up in pennant fever in the days leading up to and day of the vote and might be hard to persuade off the couch to cast their ballot or to go to the door to talk to a canvasser.

Just sayin’…



PSA – make sure you are registered to vote!

Due to their tinfoil hattedness fear of widespread voter fraud, the Harperites may have made it more difficult for many Canadians to vote in the upcoming election.

So, I encourage everyone to share through the hills and dales, the highlands and the lowlands, yadda-yadda-yadda, the address for the Elections Canada site where one can verify if they are on the list and, if not, register on-line.

The site is here:

Don’t forget, though, that you still have to bring ID with you to the polling station. ID requirements are here:



Jason Kenney provides new definition of an “electoral victory”!

Hot on the heels of Minister Kenney’s proposed redefinition of a “recession”, comes some thoughts on what exactly consists an electoral “victory” or “win” as the determinant of who forms the next government.

In light of dropping polling numbers, Conservative candidate Jason Kenney laid the groundwork for a broader definition of “electoral victory” just a few weeks before the 2015 vote is held.

“Most political scientists define an electoral win as winning more seats in the House of Commons that the other guys,” Kenney told a group of prescreened 3 and 4 year olds at a daycare in Gatineau.

“What we know is we have a clear electoral advantage in the 75+ year old, white male, upper income, low education bracket in Brampton, Ontario. We think that winning over that particular demographic would be a clear message that all Canadians want to continue with a strong and stable majority Conservative government under the tutelage of our Dear Leader, Stephen Harper”.

Traditionally, political scientists define an electoral “loss” as not “winning” as many seats as the other parties and are therefore unable to form a government that has the support of the House.

“That’s just the Liberal-biased media expressing a point-of-view.” said Kenney.

Kenney offered a different take on the V-word.

“I’m suggesting a victory should be typically defined as a discrete and confined win in a specific and narrow demographic, not a broad electoral victory consisting of widespread support and more seats won”, he said. “In any case, this should not deflect us from pointing out Just-Not-Ready Justin’s plan to run a deficit by importing ISIS criminals and supplying their children with free marijuana. That should be the real story here.”