On the tarmac...
This would be...
Missing Ottawa girl
Nortel, AIG and the culture of corporate entitlement
While I really don’t understand…
… why the Lance Armstrong thing has touched a sensitive chord for so many people, his coming-clean has inspired me to follow his lead and publicly admit to the following:
- As far back as the mid 1970′s, I engaged in blood doping activities. While the performance enhancing effects of the substances in question acts were, um, questionable, the fact remains that I may have ingested substances that may have aided my performance in Grade 11 American History and Grade 13 English Lit. I apologise to Mr. van der Valk and Mrs. Cardwell.
- As a child of 12 or so, I had a .22 that I used now and again to shoot at tin cans, trees, and the like. One day, I intentionally took aim at a chickadee, fully expecting to miss as I was a very poor shot. I did not. The bird was murdered. By me. I humbly beg the forgiveness of the bird’s family and PETA.
- When I was a kid, my parents made my brother and I trek to the end of our 500 metre long driveway in the evening to pick up the newspaper. I often bullied my little brother into doing this and then told my parents that I, in fact, fetched the paper. I apologise to my parents and my brother for this.
- I once drank a tequila shot in the wrong order – lime, salt, tequila. For this, I am utterly ashamed. I beg the forgiveness of Agave farmers everywhere.
- In 1982, during my Psych 201 mid-term, I deliberately and intentionally looked over the shoulder of the student next to me to see what she filled in as an answer to
Hans Selye coined this term to describe a common biological response pattern to prolonged or excessive stress.
I apologise to Trent University for doing this. And I apologise to the student from whom I disgracefully stole the answer.
I hope these heartfelt apologies bring some closure to those who I have wronged.
Now that all that is out of the way, I am supposed to inform someone named “Oprah”. Anyone have her email? (884)
This post has already been read 1074 times!
Trashy,
Ottawa, Ontario
You know you could lose your degree for that admission of cheating, don’t you?
Anyway, thank god Oprah is able to cash in on this Armstrong confession — this might actually save Oprah’s dying network..hence all the teases and previews and stuff…boosting ratings
Lol! If the school ever called me on it, I would advise them to look up the words “sarcasm” and “humour”.
But I do agree re: the benefit of all this to Oprah! Who knows what would become of those legions of followers if her network was no more!!!!
You have forgotten the most important part of this. You are supposed to collect a massive amount of money for all this. Having advised you of this I expect 10% of the take when the payment comes in. Thank you.