Brave Sir Stephen. Brave debater.

NARRATOR:  The Tale of Sir Stephen….

So each of the knights went their separate ways. Liz to the east. Jack to the left, Gilles off the map,  Sir Michael to the centre and Sir Stephen rode hard right, through the dark forest of Ontario, accompanied by his favorite lapdogs minstrels, MINSTREL John and MINSTREL Pierre.

MINSTREL Pierre (singing):

Bravely bold Sir Stephen, rode forth from Ottawa. He was not afraid to debate, o Brave Sir Stephen.

He was not at all afraid to debate Liz May.

Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Stephen!

He was not in the least bit scared to have his make-up smushed                          

Or to have his ego gouged out, and his spirit broken.

To have his caucus split, and his Cabinet burned away,

And his Fraser Institute all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Stephen!

Iggy smashed his lies and cut out his deceit,                 

And his lying exposed and his arrogance laid bare,                                

And his So-Cons–

STEPHEN:  That’s — that’s, uh, that’s enough music for now, lads. Looks like there’s dirty work afoot.

Sir Bob:  Debates are a way of preserving freedom.

Bev:  Oh, Bob, forget about freedom.  Now I’ve dropped my mud. Not.

Sir Bob:  Halt!  Who art thou?

MINSTREL John (singing):  He is brave Sir Stephen, brave Sir Stephen, who–

STEPHEN: Shut up!  Um, n-n-nobody really, I’m j-just um, just passing through.

Sir Bob: What do you want? To debate Michael Ignatieff???

MINSTREL Pierre (singing):  To debate, and–

STEPHEN:  Shut up!  Um, oo, n-nothing, nothing really — I, uh, j-j-ust to um, just to p-pass through, good Sir knight.

MINSTREL John (singing):  Brave Sir Stephen ran away

STEPHEN:  No!

MINSTREL Pierre (singing):  Bravely ran away away

STEPHEN:  I didn’t!

MINSTREL John (singing):  When Iggy reared his fine-coiffed head, He bravely turned his tail and fled

STEPHEN:  No!

MINSTREL Pierre (singing):  Yes Brave Sir Stephen turned about

STEPHEN:  I didn’t!

MINSTREL John (singing):  And gallantly he chickened out bravely taking to his feet

STEPHEN:  I never did!

MINSTREL Pierre (singing):  He beat a very brave retreat

STEPHEN:  Oh, lie!

MINSTREL John (singing):  Bravest of the brave Sir Stephen

STEPHEN:  I never!

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