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Hoop snake sighting in Kanata right before Xmas: ain’t that grand?

Warning ! Warning! Warning!

A reader from Kanata, Ontario (just outside Ottawa) sent me this photo of snow hoop snake tracks AND what appears to be a baby hoop.

Hoop snake and baby hoop, Kanata, Ontario: December 20, 2010.

In the lower right, one can see where the baby hoop rolled off its mother and travelled on its own for a while.

Research (1) has indicated that baby hoops, at about 2 weeks of age will bite their tail and roll with the mother hoop… alternating between rolling on it’s own and hitching a ride inside it’s Mom’s hoop. It is very, very rare to see physical evidence of this phenomenon; which is what makes this photo all the more fascinating – and frightening!

This means that they are multiplying, folks!

In spite of the best efforts of many of us in our community, the damned things are proliferating! Thanks a bunch to all those morons at PETA who campaigned successfully against our movement to have these scourges declared a threat to national security and thus ensuring their eventual demise! Fools! All of you!!

So, and pay attention, if you live in south Kanata or Stittsville, PLEASE be careful! You all know what precautions to
take – we learned this back in Grade 2: wear high boots, avoid lingering at the bottom of hills (very important as these snow hoops love the City’s toboggan hills) and always take care when clearing snow off your car as hoops like to lie under the snow on car hoods.

If you have any questions, please ask and I’ll do my best to answer. We don’t want any horrible tragedies at this time of the year, so take care out there!

1. Much of the seminal research in this field was done by Professors Cameron, Lavergne and Fritzsche in the mid 80’s. But subsequent work has been carried out by Herring, Clavet and Vermette (Harvard, 1993), Dewis and Grant (Cornell, 1996), DeLeon and Sawicz (University of Warsaw, 2006). The most recent research was carried out by van Wesenbeeck in 2007 and published posthumously in 2008 after his much publicised demise brought about by falling into a Dutch hoop snake (Farancia abacura) breeding ground.


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  1. Clovis Righthand says:

    There are in fact hoop snakes. I have seen several, growing up in the foothills of the Canadian Rockies, but the snakes are very rare.

    Researchers at the University of Calgary in Alberta Canada have have a secret research program at the Canadian Rockies and Foothills Biogeoscience Institute at the Barrier Lake experimental station in the Kananaskis valley. (The G7 meetings were held in the valley several years ago, with world leaders in attendance, including George W. Bush. Hoop snakes were clandestinely used for back up security by the CIA during that conference.

    This program must be kept secret, as the venom is so terribly poisonous and there is no known antidote. If it was to fall into the hands of terrorists, like Al Qeda or one of the weird militias or other such losers, it could be catastrophic for the planet. The institute staff are sworn to secrecy and will deny all knowledge of these rare snakes and this program.

    Interestingly, this has nothing to do with the super poison venom. Alberta, a major energy producing area, funds energy research, and this is one of the projects. They want to unlock the secrets of how the hoop snake propels itself.
    It appears there is a micro bio radiation nuclear reaction at the cellular level within the spine of the hoop snake. This splits atoms and changes mass to energy as predicted by Einstein’s equation of E=MC2. The snake continuously changes its center of gravity, thus being always lopsided, gravity causes it to roll forward.

    In the future we may be riding in cars with no engine, just hoop snake derived tires.

    The problem now is that the snakes specially bred to enhance this trait produce too much bio radiation, and self ignite, leaving radioactive remains about. This also happens in the wild, which is the reason the hoop snake is rare.

    Scientists will find the answer though, if their funding is continued. This is a better use of our tax money than funding plastic coating turds as art. The University of Calgary is helping us get to the future, even if it is a top secret project. This has the possibility of solving our dependence on fossil fools in an organic green way.

    Postcsript: How do I know so much about it if this is so secret? I used to be a janitor for the institute, and was friendly with the staff, and they let a few things slip, and I sorted through the garbage and found corroborating proof. This is real.
    Posted by Clovis Righthand in Alberta Canada on Sat Dec 25, 2010 at 09:55 AM

    Just look for yourself. Idyllic spot. No one suspects what they are doing there.

    I repeat this is real. HOOPSNAKES ARE REAL, and may hold the secrets of the salvation of the planet.

    1. trashee says:

      I had heard rumours about hoops being used for security at the Kananaskis summit – but I thought they to be only that – rumours.

      Amazing revelation.

      You are clearly a scholar of some repute and I thank you for your contribution.

      Yes, they are real. And if only PETA would let the rest of us do what we know to be right – whether it be experimentation or simply extermination – the world will be a safer place for our children.

  2. pete brown says:

    I’m confused, the hoop snake sits? They should roll; this is disturbing, indeed!

    1. trashee says:

      Hi Pete and thanks for visiting!

      “Sits”? Oh, I see – “siting”… crap… thanks

      1. Super. I live in Kanata. Merry Christmas to you too Trashy. (lol!)

        1. trashee says:

          And right back at ya!

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