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April, 2010:

Helen G hurls verbal abuse at volcano!

A volcano beneath the Eyjafjallajokull glacier in Iceland has grounded flights due to the spewing of large volumes of smoke and ash into the atmosphere.

But not for much longer.

MP Helena Guergis is reported to have been seen debarking a plane in Reykavikfter her flight to the UK was diverted to Iceland due to the smoke and ash billowing several kilometres into the sky.

An anonymous source recorded the following conversation as Ms. Guergis was standing at the Icelandic Customs and Immigration booth.

HG – The purpose of my visit? You want to know WHY I’m here!!!???

Customs dude (CD) (in halting English) – Yes ma’am. That is a question I have to ask

HG – How DARE you! DON’T you know who I am!!!!

CD – Um, no.

HG – I am Helena Guergis you meaningless piece of roadkill! I am blonde. I am beautiful and I DEMAND to see the left-wing whiner who has interrupted my vacation to Scotland!

CD – Um. It was a volcano, Ma’am. It blew up.

HG – I don’t CARE if Mr. Volcano had a temper tantrum. You and your silly Icelandic names!

CD – OK. I will put down the reason for your visit as “scientific”. And, ma’am, I might suggest that you take your complaint directly to Mr. uh, Volcano himself. There is a small scientific expedition leaving in an hour. You could ask if you could join them?

HG – THAT is more like the attitude I was looking for.

Ms. Guergis was last seen jumping from a helicopter, parachute strapped on and shouting:

Cower in my presence you liberal piece of rock!!!!!


A catch up post…

It has been a hectic few weeks – both personally and on the political front.

On the Trashy front, I have been travelling a lot. Too much, really. First it was off to China on biz for almost two weeks. And then, a day later, my family and I boarded a plane destined for the Dominican Republic for a week of sun, beach, and rum punches.

I have documented the China trip in previous posts, so I’ll leave that alone other than to mention that I’ll be returning in September – hopefully to a place in China not called Beijing… just for a change.

The trip to the DR was a blast. The weather was perfect, the food was OK (pretty much what you’d expect at an all-inclusive), the staff were helpful and the facilities were very clean. I’d recommend the place in minute and will be posting an entry on when I get a minute. The hotel is called Gran Bahia Principe La Romana.

More importantly, it was nice to spend some time away from work and with my family. I wish I coud do that kind of thing more often. I feel much more connected to the things that are important to me when I can dedicate some exclusive time to the kids and the RLG.

On another front, hectic-ness is jumping and bounding all over the Hill these days! Helena Guergis and her hubby are the cause of no end of frustration for the Robot and his evil henchman. And that is of course making me snicker.

And before Ken or the Squid Dude say “Yeah, well the Libs were just as bad…” yeah, yeah… I know. But this still gives me great joy. Let me have my joy, dammit!

The downside is that attention is being diverted from other more important matters. The Reformations could be using this energy to, uh, let’s say formulating a real environmental and climate change plan. Or they could be looking at pension plan regulations. Or a national child care strategy. Or <fill in the blank>…


Trashy on the road, again…

It’s doubtful I’ll have a chance to post anything for the next week. The family and I are off to the DR for a week of sun and surf!

Though, if I can find some free Wi-Fi…