Helen G hurls verbal abuse at volcano!

A volcano beneath the Eyjafjallajokull glacier in Iceland has grounded flights due to the spewing of large volumes of smoke and ash into the atmosphere.

But not for much longer.

MP Helena Guergis is reported to have been seen debarking a plane in Reykavikfter her flight to the UK was diverted to Iceland due to the smoke and ash billowing several kilometres into the sky.

An anonymous source recorded the following conversation as Ms. Guergis was standing at the Icelandic Customs and Immigration booth.

HG – The purpose of my visit? You want to know WHY I’m here!!!???

Customs dude (CD) (in halting English) – Yes ma’am. That is a question I have to ask

HG – How DARE you! DON’T you know who I am!!!!

CD – Um, no.

HG – I am Helena Guergis you meaningless piece of roadkill! I am blonde. I am beautiful and I DEMAND to see the left-wing whiner who has interrupted my vacation to Scotland!

CD – Um. It was a volcano, Ma’am. It blew up.

HG – I don’t CARE if Mr. Volcano had a temper tantrum. You and your silly Icelandic names!

CD – OK. I will put down the reason for your visit as “scientific”. And, ma’am, I might suggest that you take your complaint directly to Mr. uh, Volcano himself. There is a small scientific expedition leaving in an hour. You could ask if you could join them?

HG – THAT is more like the attitude I was looking for.

Ms. Guergis was last seen jumping from a helicopter, parachute strapped on and shouting:

Cower in my presence you liberal piece of rock!!!!!

(433)

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