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But brain still isn’t enough scrambled to vote for Harperites the !

I had a bit of a scare yesterday.

It was decided yesterday morning that it was a good day to introduce the youngest (2 yr old) subunit to skating. After all, if he is to lead the Leafs to victory in 2035, he should learn as soon as possible, right?

Typical Canadian family’s day: off to Canadian Tire, find some skates for the little guy, sharpened the other three pair and we were off to one of the many community rinks in the City. This one is particularly family-friendly as it is a long oval that encircles a full-size hockey rink.

Three of us lace on the blades – I stayed in boots for the first 20 minutes or so as I find bending over whilst holding up a toddler while on skates is way too hard on my lower back – and off we went. I was quite proud of the two kids. The smaller one did OK for his first time out. He fell down a lot and laughed about it. And my 6 yr old had a blast too. Until she hurt herself a bit later, which was right after…

I was a complete and utter moron…

First time out this year, ice that not free of ruts – calls for a take-it-easy kind of skate. Get used to the feel again, right?

Nooooooooooooooooo… not me….I have to be a big twit and try to show off in front of my kids! One second I am cruising along at a fair clip (well, for me), and the next thing I know I’m on the ice, seeing stars and momentarily unable to move! Scared the living crap outta me! Scared the living crap outta my wife and kids too! And the guy on the rink – who were all asking if I was OK. Apparently my head sounded like a 2X4 smacking the ice. My 6 year old asked if I was dead.

Once I had regained my senses, my head ached, my jaw was outta whack, my right elbow was killing me. I felt like I had just been hit by (the latest Leaf) Dion Phaneuf.  The look on my spousal unit’s face was unsettling as it seemed though she was expecting to be looking at a corpse!

Needless to say, I didn’t argue when she said that we get outta there and to the hospital tout de suite.

And here’s a funny thing about hospitals and head injuries: you don’t wait for long before being seen. I was registered and into the Urgent Care area within 20 minutes. Saw a nurse 10 minutes after that and a Doc a little bit later. After a series of tests he thought it best that I get a CT scan to ensure there wasn’t any swelling or bleeding. Who says that the health care system doesn’t work?

A while later, the Doc reported that all was clear and that I could go home. But I should expect headaches for a few days. He was correct.

The lessons learned here?

  • Don’t be an ass your first time on blades your first time out for the year. Take it slowly.
  • Get to the Doc if you do bang your head and lose consciousness – even only for a few moments
  • And, sigh, wear a helmet. My head is quite obviously as hard as a piece of granite but the force of the noggin hitting hard ice can, and could have done some serious damage.


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  1. XUP says:

    Don’t worry about Dave. He’s such a wuss he had to enlist a whole team of medical personnel just to remove a teensy bit of cancer from his neck. I mean, really! Does he not have a Swiss Army Knife?

  2. XUP says:

    What was I just telling you the other day about the ice and blades combo? It’s insane without a helmet. Sure you look like a dork, but we all look like dorks all winter long in Ottawa anyway, so what’s the difference. Hope you didn’t do any lasting damage. Have you been seeing dead people or hearing other people’s thoughts or anything cool like that?

    1. trashee says:

      Yeah, yeah. Holy co-ink-a-dink Batman!
      The attending MD at the General said – “so, you gonna wear a helmet now, or do you think your kids would prefer you without a brain?”
      But he’s a Doctor, they’re paid to ask questions like that!
      Besides, Dave is callin’ me a wussy!

  3. trashee says:

    Sniff. Sorry to let you down Dave… you’re right… after all, all of my grey matter is still tucked inside my head… I guess it was the brief paralysis that freaked me out… damn.

    I stuck a screwdriver into a fuse box that I thought was disconnected… melted the screwdriver and my arm hurt like hell for weeks… but no loss of consciousness.

    Thanks Fat Arse… I will miss the mosh pits, though…

  4. Fat Arse says:

    Dude, glad to hear you are functioning – but take it from one who has eight diagnosed concussions (+) in the last 30 years… go slow the next few weeks. Do not move/bend quickly, do not run, do not pretend it didn’t happen… do not, no matter how good you think you feel … have insane sex, jump in a mosh pit, wrestle with your little one’s … or take out the garbage. Just take it easy. Otherwise you’ll end up like many of us… migraine ridden and sloooooowww. Trust me, not a good place to be!

  5. But you’re not really a man until you’ve been rendered unconscious by an act of your own stupidity.

    I crossed that bridge years ago with a 1000 volt capacitor.

  6. dave1949 says:

    Wuss are you a Canadian or not?
    Good god as anyone worth anything knows Bobby Baun played on a broken ankle, and you go to hospital for a mere concussion.
    No wonder the Leafs can’t win with little girlie fans like you.
    I’m ashamed to admit I’m a leafs fan too just because of this.

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