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Trashy for Mayor

Here in Ottawa, the landslide of Mayoral wanna-be nomination papers has begun to swamp City electoral staff… so far there is a grand total of TWO declared candidates!  But Ottawa is Ottawa and we can expect a number of sincere and not-so-sincere candidates to step up to the plate before the cut-off date. Some will be eminently qualified, and some not so much.

And that is where I come into the picture.

It is true that I served for a term on a municipal council in a small community located in Central Ontario. It is also true that I ran (sigh, unsuccessfully) in a bygone General Election. But really, this is not Smallville, Ontario. And running in one major election campaign hardly qualifies me for such a high-profile and important post.

Or does it? Let me think about this for a sec… Hmmmm… maybe I am qualified…

OK – what would be the positives and negatives if I were to take a run at this – and (shucks) furthermore, what if I won?

Upside: I could give a little of myself back to the community that I have called home for the past 12+ years – the community that two of my three kids were born in.
Downside: Over the top way to “give back” Batman! I mean, I sit on the Board of my son’s daycare and I could do more – like volunteer at a soup kitchen or something – without having to go all über-giving-like!.

Upside: The money is good – about $160 K a year.
Downside: Yeah, but I already get paid quite well already and the extra money/extra work ratio would be off the chart.

Upside: I’d be in charge of one of Canada’s largest cities. The sense of power would be pretty cool.
Downside: The power would likely go to my head. I would lose my valued perspective and start decreeing every Sunday as The Simpsons Day in Ottawa And change the City’s logo to the silhouette of a bald guy with a goatee. I would also try to annex Montréal.

Upside: People would respect me more.
Downside: An equal number of people would hate me and want me dead. And besides, the people from whom I actually want respect already respect me. I think.

It’s pretty clear, I guess. The downsides outweigh the upsides even before I start to consider:

  • I would have to take an unpaid, leave-of-absence from work for at least 6 months.
  • I don’t have any beginnings of a politically-connected network in this city – ergo, no campaign funding
  • I’m a relative newcomer to the City and some folks would frown at this.
  • Campaigning means long hours. And I have a real hard time staying up past 10 pm!

All that being said, if anyone wants to drop about, oh, 50K on my lap as a gift to make up for lost salary (so my kids will be able to eat while I’m going door-to-door), offer to volunteer  as my full-time campaign organizer (it would help greatly if you already had a firm and obedient politically-connected network in place), and think that Trashy would do just fine as Ottawa’s Mayor, I’m ready to listen!


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  1. Ken says:

    I wouldn’t vote for you to be mayor 😉

    I’d vote for you if you were running for city council, though.

    Here’s why: It’s already been shown that the power is held by the council. You want something done? Get the council to agree. You want something not done? Get the council to disagree.

    The only catch is you’d have to beat Jan Harder, who is my councillor…

  2. I’d vote for you.

    You’d definitely have an advantage of “I’m not one of THEM!!!”

  3. XUP says:

    You’d have to stop blogging in the sense that we understand the term “blogging”. You’d have to start one of those Mayor Larry pseudo-bloglike web PR spaces instead… for which you’d never get to contribute anything.

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