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December 18th, 2009:

This just in! Canada wins award!

As a result of it’s government’s complete lack of global responsibility and environmental negligence, my country has been awarded the Colossal Fossil on the last day of the COP 15!

Woo-hoo! We’re Number 1!

“Thank you to the Alberta Tar Sands and the Alberta Government for this dishonour. As well, I’d like to thank the National Post, The Fraser Institute and the National Taxpayer’s Federation for helping to bring this about. But of course, my most sincere and deepest thanks go to Prime Minister Harper whose lack of leadership and vision on this file have led to the greatest international vilification that this country has ever known!

COPENHAGEN — Canada was handed a “Colossal Fossil” award in Copenhagen on Friday, a scornful accolade meant to shame countries that a coalition of environmental groups believes are stalling on greenhouse gas emissions reductions and climate adaptation financing packages.

Canada has already won a number of Fossil of the Day awards, but Friday’s award made it the fossil leader for the entire Copenhagen climate change conference.

“This is the third year in a row that Canada has won,” said Victoria activist Maia Green, the co-ordinator of the Canadian Youth Delegation to Copenhagen. “They’ve been blocking progress, and been very obstructionist.”

The awards are judged by a coalition climate change organizations under the banner of Climate Action Network International, which counts a significant number of Canadian environmental organizations as members.

Canada has been targeted for what the group characterizes as weak emission-reduction targets, a 20 per cent reduction from 2006 levels by 2020. The group says leaked cabinet documents suggest the government is contemplating a cap-and-trade plan that would set special rules for certain industrial sectors, such as the oilsands. Canada has also not offered any concrete numbers when it comes to adaptation financing for poor countries in the short or long term “beyond vague platitudes,” said a released from the climate group.

As Alberta Environment Minister Rob Renner prepared to leave Copenhagen on Friday, he didn’t make much of the title, saying the Canadian government has set realistic climate change timelines and objectives.

“It’s pretty predictable,” Renner said of Canada being named the Colossal Fossil.

O Canada!