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Friday randomised meanderings

Cuz I’m too tired to rant…

Does Stephen Harper store his hair in the freezer at night?

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Should I blog more about celebrity gossip to boost my hit count? But if that’s the goal, why not just post more on politics ?

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Why does a laptop have to come out of the case at airport security? Are there laptop cases that have secret lead lining that the X-Ray machines cannot penetrate?

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

Steak tonight? Or Mexican?

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said? Note – this is SO me!

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d!ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

I Wonder What This Button Does.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Why are incredibly gifted athletes and other celebrities so STOOPID sometimes?

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Cabernet, Merlot, or Shiraz?

Is there a rapper who hasn’t done jail time?

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. Amen.

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. The R. V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner’s manual that he couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. Winnebago changed their manuals; I wonder why. Anyone so stupid as to leave the driver’s seat is probably also too stupid to read a manual.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.


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  1. I’ve often thought the sniffing thing was exceptionally silly as well – and remember, I work in the security field.

    As I said, it’s primarily for show. Realistically, they don’t expect to catch anyone. There’s a small chance that they might get a scumbag who has been handling explosives, then handling his laptop (really, they are sensitive). That would be a stroke of luck though. AFAIK, the shoe-bomber got on a plane AFTER sniffing technology was in place, although maybe he wasn’t carrying a laptop.

    Frankly, they’d improve air travel immensely by sniffing for alcohol on people’s breath and thereby keeping drunks off the plane.

    There are worthwhile security measures though. The carry-on X-ray does help eliminate small weapons that random nutbags might use. The big cargo-hold X-ray/inspection/sniff does keep the nasty stuff out of the bottom of the plane where, historically, it has been a problem. I’ve seen them pull people aside who were wearing full-body slave uniformsburqas and similar clothing for personal inspection. That’s a good thing in my book.

  2. trashee says:

    Yeah – those chemical sniffer things are funny too. Have would-be terrorists not figgered out a materials that can’t be picked up by the sniffer – they likely have.
    But I guess it’s like that scene in “The Meaning of Life”:

    Hospital Administrator: Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
    [Everyone in the room applauds]
    Hospital Administrator: Thank you, thank you.

  3. >>Why does a laptop have to come out of the case at airport security? Are there laptop cases that have secret lead lining that the X-Ray machines cannot penetrate?

    Yes, however if someone was using one of those, the XRay person would notice. That’s not the issue. On the XRay machine a laptop in a case would look very similar to a bomb with wiring. It also allows them to use a chemical sniffer more easily on the laptop itself (you could have explosives in the battery, for example).

    The primary reason, however, is simply as a deterrent for people thinking of putting bombs in laptops. In essence, it’s for show, like most passenger screening. It keeps out the really stupid crooks.

    >>I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

    And from personal experience with this one, the answer is “No, they think it’s funny because they know it’s pissing you off.”

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