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Seal tragedy on DC street – 3 dead – PETA responsible

According to the latest news out of D.C., PETA supporters brought three helpless baby seals to the Canadian embassy yesterday.  PETA – the loony-tunes element of the animal rights movement – wanted to protest the Canadian east coast seal hunt on the occasion of Stevo Harper’s most excellent Obama vacation.

But, upon being distracted by a billboard advertising Paul McCartney’s latest CD, PETA staff left the poor creatures to die on the hot, hard and unforgiving streets around Capitol Hill. The smell of rotting seal carcasses was noticed by bystanders for miles around.

The PETA personnel responsible for this travesty were tracked down soon after and arrested outside Washington’s Playboy mansion where they mistakenly believed the bunnies inside were of the long-eared variety.

DAMN YOU heartless PETA morons! Damn you to hell!



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  1. XUP says:

    Yes, you’re always funny and I’m not the least bit grumpy. And PETA. batshit crazy as they are, have accomplished stuff. They’ve lobbied for an instigated changes in the way livestock are raised, in the way entertainment animals are treated (circuses, zoos, carnivals, etc) and a bunch of other shit which I don’t feel like listing because I don’t particularly enjoy defending PETA because they’re so batshit crazy. But I don’t think it’s totally out of line to compare them to some feminist activists of years gone by. There were some pretty batshit crazy groups of those back in the day, too. Also, it would be nice to remember that PETA is only one (albeit the loudest one) of the many fine organizations fighting for more humane treatment of animals.

  2. trashee says:

    Crap! Everyone is so grumpy today!

    Let me make it clear that I am NOT comparing PETA to ANYTHING worthwhile. XUP made a comment about activists in general – not specific to PETA – and I responded…

    You KNOW what I think of PETA or morons of the dame ilk like the Sea Shepherds…

  3. Activists may do good work, but if that’s the standard, then PETA are not activists. They’re batshit insane haters of human beings. AFAIK, they have never, ever, achieved anything other than media publicity for, well, being batshit insane haters of human beings. Can they point to a single actual achievement?

    The only ones worse are the ALF, who use violence in there perverse pursuit of their cause.

    Certainly to compare them to the activists who campaigned for women’s rights is unfair to women.

  4. trashee says:

    Sure they do… and if it weren’t for activists, women still wouldn’t be able to vote, slavery would still be the norm and we wouldn’t still be in Afghanistan…
    Oops – strike the last one… I’m waiting for the activism to kick in on that one!
    Did you find the post funny XUP?? – cuz you’ve been awful serious these days…

  5. XUP says:

    The thing about activists is that they do a lot of good work, promote a lot of positive change in the world, and are necessary if we are to continue evolving as human beings and as a society. Activists are also almost always, unfortunately, insanely irritatiing, way over-the-top crazy, often look totally ridiculous and mostly give very good causes a bad name. However, history has shown that they are effective and I’m thinking that maybe they need to be this way in order to be effective. A politely worded request never moved any mountains. This sort of craziness seems to.

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