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July, 2009:

Soviet Russians for Harper!

Since it seems that some folks aren’t buying the traditional ReformCon attack ad, the Harperites are trying something new

I new message slimed its way into my inbox last week from a group calling itself Republicans For Ignatieff. It purports to be a collection of American Republicans who are rooting for Iggy to get into the PM’s chair. My Harper-sense clicked in as I thought it extremely improbable that:

a)    Any Republican would know Iggy’s name
b)    Any Republican would know that we have a Prime Minister and not a President.
c)    Any Republican would have ever heard of “Canada”.

Upon going to the site that the message pointed to, I read lots of text about how Iggy was much more “America-friendly” than Harper and how his values more closely aligned with those of the GOP. I’m not going to repeat the rubbish here. You can go to the site to see it for yourself.

However, I can’t let this go by without some kind of retort. So, I proudly present the launch of a new lobby group that I like to call…

Soviet Russians for Harper

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Until the wall came down, the Soviet Union and Canada had the closest bi-national relationship in the world. Yes, we hated each other’s hockey teams, but we still respected them.

Stephen Harper, 1997

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* Russia and Canada share the polar icecap
* For the past 36 years we’ve been playing hockey against one another.
* And, thanks to the tar sands, Canada is an ally with a growing supply of energy.

In short, we’re friends, we’re neighbours and we’re allies.

Now more than ever, Russia needs a Canadian Prime Minister we can count on. A Canadian Prime Minister who knows us. A Canadian Prime Minister who loves us.

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“Now, this is coming from a Canadian who is not even a citizen of your country, but someone who has loved this country.”

Stephen Harper

(Lecture to the Russian Naval Academy. March 2001.)

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Stephen Harper is the best choice for Canadian Prime Minister.

Although born in Canada, Harper has always been fascinated by Soviet Russia.

* As a young man, he believed in the Fatherland in a way that Canada never allowed.

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“I loved my own country, but I believed in the Soviet system in a way that Canada never allowed”

Stephen Harper, 2002

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* While living in the Canada, Harper pined for the CCCP, saying “Someone like me does not exist in the Soviet Union and that seems to me to be terrible.”

Stephen Harper, 1988

(The Toronto Sun, February 28, 1991.)

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* Once in Russia, Harper called it his country on national television.

* And when speaking to a Soviet Military Academy Harper said he “loved” The Great Bear to such a degree that he was thinking of changing his name to Vlad.

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“Now, this is coming from a Canadian who is not even a citizen of your country, but someone who has loved this country.”

Stephen Harper

(Lecture to the Russian Naval Academy. March 2001.)

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Stephen Harper has not only been supportive of Russia he has also been very supportive of Soviet ideas and causes.

* He stood with us on Iraq.

* He defended torture, including coercive interrogation.

* He agrees with the governance model that emphasizes strength, coercion and intimidation.

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“To defeat evil, we may have to traffic in evils: indefinite detention of suspects, coercive interrogations, targeted assassinations, even pre-emptive war. Even nasty attack ads!”

Stephen Harper

(The Walrus, May 2004.)

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*He loves the tar sands.

“I think the best way to show our love and respect for our Russian comrades is to jointly exploit these valuable resources. And those ducks will just have to deal with it.”

Stephen Harper, Calgary Stampede, 2008

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Join Soviet Russians for Harper today and show your support for Stevo. He’s the right choice for Canada, the right choice for Russia, the right choice for Soviets.

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Down the river without a visa…

By now, everyone has heard of the incredible story of the 3 year old who drove his mini- electric car into the river, floated with it downstream for 12 klicks and was none the worse for wear at the end of it all. When rescuers caught up with the boy, the truck had capsized and he was hanging on to the axle for dear life… so we think… but based on his first words said to the rescuers as he was plucked off the ad hoc plastic floatation device –  “where’s my truck”? –  I think he was more worried about losing his truck than being swept away down the river.

A rather practical decision, wouldn’t you say? Hold on to what is dear and don’t do anything stupid that may jeopardise it.  It’s kind of like a businessperson ensuring that his or her key clients are happy with the services or goods being provided… especially in economic downtimes.  Or a country that relies on tourism as a staple of its national economy. No government in their right mind would let go of their truck during a recession. When tourists from the biggest house on the block, the U.S., is way down and those coming from other countries are steady or rising.  Why put those relationships into risk.

Well, with the recent decision to demand visas from those visitors from nations like Mexico, the Harperites didn’t just lose their grip on the floating truck, the punched a hole in it, stuffed in some dynamite and blew it out of the water!

Using an escalating number of refugees as the reason for doing so, the Harper government has in one fell swoop, nailed another nail into the coffin of our already struggling tourism sector. Mexican tourists have been on the rise for the past few years but now you can pretty much kiss that bye-bye due to this, yet another, short-sighted policy.

NAFTA. The first two letters stand for North American, right? So we can declare the continent a free trade zone but rightfully put onerous visa requirements on Mexicans seeking maple syrup in Ottawa’s By-Ward Market? Where is the sense in that?

As they plan next winters’ vacations south, Canadians should expect the same from the Mexican government.

Thanks Stevo! Now you go on and climb back aboard your truck and revisit this decision. And soon!

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On a day like this, I can’t diss anyone – even Harper!

Ah. ‘Tis one of those o-too-rare Ottawa days where the sun is shining, the temps are comfortable, there’s a little breeze in the air and even the kids cooperated by not making my early morning too onerous!

Ah.

I want to bottle up days like these and open them a little during the dark and depression inducing days of January…

Ah.

What kind of negative or critical scribblings can I come up with? Hmmm… well, went golfing this morning… and, as usual, I was reminded of just how bad a golfer I really am.

But even THAT didn’t matter. It was a fun day in the sun with friends, muskrats and gophers.  I only lost a few balls and didn’t re-injure my latissimus muscle.

I just scoured the news for something to rant on about re: Our Glorious Leader.  But even the robotman is behaving himself these days. Yeah, there was that whole Catholic faux-pas thing, but who really cares, eh? It is an outdated ritual that belongs in the Dark Ages anyways. Big freakin’ deal.  C’mon Grits – let it go.. if I’m not getting my knickers in a twist about this, then surely your target market ain’t taking it too seriously either.

The subunits are amusing me more than usual lately. The teenmonster has her face “bolt” removed yesterday – her body was rejecting the fact that there was a steel rod embedded just above her cheekbone – go figger.  Addy has been really cuddly lately and was very exciting to start “Treehouse” at her daycare – one level older plus all of her friends had ben transferred there… made her week!

And the O-ster has been speaking SO MUCH lately. Coll stuff that I have NO idea from where he could have picked such phrases as “Cool, man” “OK daddy-O” and, his latest, “bee-zarre dude…”

I love warping molding young minds and personalities.

All in all, Trashy is a happy dude today and is looking forward to a weekend with the family. Yeah, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow, but then clear up again on Sunday…

Summer in Canada – gotta love it.

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Awright – I can’t resist – way too easy

Check it out:

Motown legend Berry Gordy said: “He was awesome, the King of Pop was not big enough. I think he is simply the greatest entertainer that ever lived.

I heard this along with the other hero-worship claptrap and thought “huh”?

Greatest entertainer?

No fuckin’ way.

I remember a party back in ’82 or so (some of my readers may recall) when a certain chick brought Thriller to the scene. We were on an island somewhere outside of Peterborough, ON and we were all die hard rockers…

The MJ tape ended up in the bonfire while Zep II roared its mighty roar.

So in the interest of the public service, here are 50 entertainers I consider “greater” than the child molester.

  1. George Carlin
  2. The Clash
  3. Led Zeppelin
  4. Robin Williams
  5. Jon Stewart
  6. The Beatles
  7. Bruce Springsteen
  8. Madonna
  9. My son Owen
  10. Bart Simpson
  11. The Police
  12. The Canadian police forces who like using Tasers
  13. RCMP (see above)
  14. Frank Sinatra
  15. Alex Ovechkin
  16. Supertramp
  17. Pink Floyd
  18. Thierry Henry
  19. David Bowie
  20. My daughter Addy
  21. My teenmonster T
  22. The Eagles
  23. Stephen Harper – in robot mode
  24. Janis Joplin
  25. Jim Morrison
  26. Jimi Hendrix
  27. Bob Marley
  28. Queen
  29. Kim il Jong
  30. Kermit the Frog
  31. Kaka
  32. Vlad Putin
  33. My 4th year Pol Sci Theory prof
  34. Pierre Trudeau
  35. Sir Richard Branson
  36. Sir Paul McCartney
  37. John Lennon
  38. Lenin
  39. The cast of Coronation Street
  40. Che
  41. Ronaldo
  42. Johnny Ramone
  43. Sid Vicious
  44. Leonardo da Vinci
  45. Anna Kournikova
  46. Meagan Fox
  47. Mike Tyson
  48. The guy who asks for change at the corner of Holland and Scott
  49. Peter Gzowski
  50. Isaac Asimov

I could do another 100 or so, but am getting tired.

You get the point though, right?

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