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July 29th, 2009:

Bright and shiny thing dives into Ottawa River

Police have called off the search for something that several folks saw bright lights seemingly crash into the Ottawa River.

Given that the helicopters, boats and divers have come up empty-handed, whatever it was that made its mysterious appearance and disappearance is up for grabs. But I have some suggestions as to possible identity of what crashed and burned.

  1. Mayorlarry’s future as mayorlarry
  2. Dany Heatley’s future as an Ottawa Senator
  3. Stephen Harper’s chances of a majority government – ever
  4. A UCM (unidentified cabinet Minister) who dared to RSVP “yes” to the invitation to the Mulroney 25th anniversary bash next month
  5. The next Conservative Communications Director falling from the heavens
  6. Thor – the thunder god – smiting Ottawa with yet another bolt of lightning
  7. Michael J. Fox in a Bricklin
  8. David Miller jumping – or being pushed – from a plane
  9. An OC Transpo bus taking a really wrong turn off the bridge… and failing to call out the stop
  10. Barack Obama making a secret visit back to Ottawa to pick up a few more of those yummy maple cookies