Soviet Russians for Harper!

Since it seems that some folks aren’t buying the traditional ReformCon attack ad, the Harperites are trying something new

I new message slimed its way into my inbox last week from a group calling itself Republicans For Ignatieff. It purports to be a collection of American Republicans who are rooting for Iggy to get into the PM’s chair. My Harper-sense clicked in as I thought it extremely improbable that:

a)    Any Republican would know Iggy’s name
b)    Any Republican would know that we have a Prime Minister and not a President.
c)    Any Republican would have ever heard of “Canada”.

Upon going to the site that the message pointed to, I read lots of text about how Iggy was much more “America-friendly” than Harper and how his values more closely aligned with those of the GOP. I’m not going to repeat the rubbish here. You can go to the site to see it for yourself.

However, I can’t let this go by without some kind of retort. So, I proudly present the launch of a new lobby group that I like to call…

Soviet Russians for Harper

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Until the wall came down, the Soviet Union and Canada had the closest bi-national relationship in the world. Yes, we hated each other’s hockey teams, but we still respected them.

Stephen Harper, 1997

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* Russia and Canada share the polar icecap
* For the past 36 years we’ve been playing hockey against one another.
* And, thanks to the tar sands, Canada is an ally with a growing supply of energy.

In short, we’re friends, we’re neighbours and we’re allies.

Now more than ever, Russia needs a Canadian Prime Minister we can count on. A Canadian Prime Minister who knows us. A Canadian Prime Minister who loves us.

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“Now, this is coming from a Canadian who is not even a citizen of your country, but someone who has loved this country.”

Stephen Harper

(Lecture to the Russian Naval Academy. March 2001.)

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Stephen Harper is the best choice for Canadian Prime Minister.

Although born in Canada, Harper has always been fascinated by Soviet Russia.

* As a young man, he believed in the Fatherland in a way that Canada never allowed.

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“I loved my own country, but I believed in the Soviet system in a way that Canada never allowed”

Stephen Harper, 2002

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* While living in the Canada, Harper pined for the CCCP, saying “Someone like me does not exist in the Soviet Union and that seems to me to be terrible.”

Stephen Harper, 1988

(The Toronto Sun, February 28, 1991.)

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* Once in Russia, Harper called it his country on national television.

* And when speaking to a Soviet Military Academy Harper said he “loved” The Great Bear to such a degree that he was thinking of changing his name to Vlad.

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“Now, this is coming from a Canadian who is not even a citizen of your country, but someone who has loved this country.”

Stephen Harper

(Lecture to the Russian Naval Academy. March 2001.)

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Stephen Harper has not only been supportive of Russia he has also been very supportive of Soviet ideas and causes.

* He stood with us on Iraq.

* He defended torture, including coercive interrogation.

* He agrees with the governance model that emphasizes strength, coercion and intimidation.

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“To defeat evil, we may have to traffic in evils: indefinite detention of suspects, coercive interrogations, targeted assassinations, even pre-emptive war. Even nasty attack ads!”

Stephen Harper

(The Walrus, May 2004.)

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*He loves the tar sands.

“I think the best way to show our love and respect for our Russian comrades is to jointly exploit these valuable resources. And those ducks will just have to deal with it.”

Stephen Harper, Calgary Stampede, 2008

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Join Soviet Russians for Harper today and show your support for Stevo. He’s the right choice for Canada, the right choice for Russia, the right choice for Soviets.

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9 Comments to “Soviet Russians for Harper!”

  1. […] Criticise the government and other federal pols… but (in truth) mostly those who answer to the Dear Leader […]

  2. trashee says:

    Hell, Canada isn’t even in the top 5! The Yanks, Brits, Aussies, Russians, Italians, French… all of them and more make us look like amateurs – conspiratorially-wise…

  3. XUP says:

    Canada is really falling down on the job when it comes to conspiracies anyway. The US is mired in political conspiracies; so if this is the best we can do, let’s hang on to it and play it up for all its worth

  4. Ken says:

    Did you ever think it might just be some regular people, and not a political party at all?

    That’s just as reasonable explanation than some idiotic conspiracy theory.

    • trashee says:

      Yeah – thought of that, Ken. But it seems way too professional and contrived for a Beavis and Butthead joke… too many links, too much mystery… and the site passed my spell-check.
      A Soviet plot? You betcha!

  5. trashee says:

    Don’t forget the Soviets!
    Yeah – it is stuff like this that makes me simultaneously smile and cringe when it comes to the level of political “discourse” in this country.

  6. XUP says:

    I went and googled this and there is all sorts of discussion and speculation about this. The NDP were ruled out for a number of reasons. By process of elimination it’s always the Tories. There’s some guy who calls himself “The Colonel” who responds to emails sent to the contact page. Of course, it would be really diabolical if it were Iggy himself doing it to totally discredit the Tories!!

  7. trashee says:

    Yup. Pretty ridiculous indeed.
    But here’s a thought: what if this isn’t a ReformCon gimmick but something that the Dippers have thought up? I know this kind of stunt is completely believable as the product of some 26 year old net-savvy CPC staffer, but what if the NDP has been watching the polls, started to worry about strategic voting in the coming election and decided to launch a pre-preemptive strike?
    Just sayin’ is all…

  8. XUP says:

    This is un-fucking-believable. And yet not surprising given the depths to which the Tories have sunk in the past. Astroturfing at its very, very worst.

    Sun Media tried to investigate but the RFI group’s e-mail went unanswered, and a contact telephone number wasn’t in service.

    Ignatieff spokeswoman Jill Fairbrother said Tuesday “the only people who could benefit [from the site] would be the Conservatives.”

    The fact they seem unwilling to stand publicly behind their Web site makes it difficult, if not impossible, to take them seriously, and gives more credence to the belief they are not what they claim to be, but are rather Canadian political operatives.
    By hosting the site outside Canada, the group is trying to avoid identifying themselves put themselves outside of the scope of the Elections Act provisions on the declaration and reporting by third parties wanting to advertise in favour or against a party or candidate.

    The final nail in this ridiculous coffin is that if they were, in fact, a legitimate group supporting Iggy all they’re doing with this propoganda is ensuring that he’ll never get elected — so that would be kind of self-defeating wouldn’t it?

    I hope to hell that someone is able to get to the bottom of this and prove that the Tories are behind it and then we can all watch them crash and burn for a very, very long time.

    This is revolting.

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