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Awright – I can’t resist – way too easy

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Motown legend Berry Gordy said: “He was awesome, the King of Pop was not big enough. I think he is simply the greatest entertainer that ever lived.

I heard this along with the other hero-worship claptrap and thought “huh”?

Greatest entertainer?

No fuckin’ way.

I remember a party back in ’82 or so (some of my readers may recall) when a certain chick brought Thriller to the scene. We were on an island somewhere outside of Peterborough, ON and we were all die hard rockers…

The MJ tape ended up in the bonfire while Zep II roared its mighty roar.

So in the interest of the public service, here are 50 entertainers I consider “greater” than the child molester.

  1. George Carlin
  2. The Clash
  3. Led Zeppelin
  4. Robin Williams
  5. Jon Stewart
  6. The Beatles
  7. Bruce Springsteen
  8. Madonna
  9. My son Owen
  10. Bart Simpson
  11. The Police
  12. The Canadian police forces who like using Tasers
  13. RCMP (see above)
  14. Frank Sinatra
  15. Alex Ovechkin
  16. Supertramp
  17. Pink Floyd
  18. Thierry Henry
  19. David Bowie
  20. My daughter Addy
  21. My teenmonster T
  22. The Eagles
  23. Stephen Harper – in robot mode
  24. Janis Joplin
  25. Jim Morrison
  26. Jimi Hendrix
  27. Bob Marley
  28. Queen
  29. Kim il Jong
  30. Kermit the Frog
  31. Kaka
  32. Vlad Putin
  33. My 4th year Pol Sci Theory prof
  34. Pierre Trudeau
  35. Sir Richard Branson
  36. Sir Paul McCartney
  37. John Lennon
  38. Lenin
  39. The cast of Coronation Street
  40. Che
  41. Ronaldo
  42. Johnny Ramone
  43. Sid Vicious
  44. Leonardo da Vinci
  45. Anna Kournikova
  46. Meagan Fox
  47. Mike Tyson
  48. The guy who asks for change at the corner of Holland and Scott
  49. Peter Gzowski
  50. Isaac Asimov

I could do another 100 or so, but am getting tired.

You get the point though, right?


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  1. XUP says:

    I don’t even know why you keep talking about him.

  2. LoLa says:

    I’m with Squid…no Freddy Mercury? I’m no MJ enthusiast but I think he belongs somewhere in the top 50 considering the sheer numbers he’s entertained. But your post is funny…c’mon, Vlad Putin? : )

  3. Ken says:

    Woot! Pink Floyd!

    Iggy isn’t on your list? He’s usually good for a joke or two.

  4. Freddie Mercury didn’t make your list? He was a much better entertainer than Michael Jackson, and no little boys bottoms paid the price either.

    I wouldn’t put Mike Tyson on the list… he’s just a train wreck with a web-cam attached… Not all that different than Jackson really.

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