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May, 2009:

Coffee rocks!


Turns out that coffee is GOOD for you!

Now to wait for the news that being overweight and drinking booze in non-moderation portions are also great for my middle aged body!



Make it seven! Or ten!

So Bettman and his merry band of jokers at the NHL head office are now suggesting that another team in Canada ain’t such a bad idea after all – just not in Hamilton like that uber-evil Jim Basillie wants. Maybe Winnipeg but more likely to another desert hot hockey hotbed, like Vegas! Bettman is really that full of himself and relocating one of the loser American teams would be a direct slap in the face and repudiate what he has tried to do since becoming the Commish.

This has definitely become personal if it wasn’t so already.

This is driving Canadian fans crazy! Why not move to a city that will actually support their team!? Hamilton, Winnipeg, Québec City, Halifax?????? Hellloooooo!!????

Kansas City? Been there, done that.

Vegas? ????? Have they even HEARD of hockey there?

We all know the reason why a Canadian city has not had a chance in Hell in acquiring a team – and his first name is Gary. But that may change…

Thanks Jim Basillie for setting up the campaign to “make it seven”. It could just as easily be “make it ten” because hockey is Canada and Canada is hockey. Take the teams outta those places that do not deserve them and are not supported by their communities and bring ’em home where they’ll be loved!

Bye-bye Phoenix, Atlanta, Tampa Bay and Columbus!

[poll id=”3″]


Victoria – great name for my eldest kid, but not for a national holiday!

Here in Canada, the celebration of the birthday of a long dead and foreign Queen is more likely to be called the May 2-4 weekend, the May long weekend, cottage opening weekend or the “Holy shit, the blackflies are out” long weekend.

However you dice it, the three days away from the labours of labour are a welcome break for those of us that don’t slave away in jobs that really don’t get “breaks” like these… cops, firedudes, bartenders, hookers, etc.

And I, like everyone else, LOVE it! In fact, I’m taking an extra leave day tomorrow (Friday). The weather forecast is favourable to doing some much-needed lawn and garden work sans enfants et sans ma femme! I may even take a break and hit the gym too! A whole day to myself and then THREE more to boot!!!  Woo-ho!

But wait! What is that grumbly and gravely sound of discontent that is simmering just below my conscious glee? Oh yeah. I remember. I still get pissed with the fact that we have yet to find and agree upon a better occasion to celebrate other than a dead foreign Queen’s birthday! Plus, just look at her! If she was even a little bit hot or super smart or something, then maybe I’d ease up a bit. But just look at her!

vicYeah, yeah – I know a bunch of you neo-monarchists (ain’t that a contradiction?) are simply aghast that once again one of we republicans dare to mention foul things about the sacred monarchy – and only days from that special day itself! Oh, I feel my billowing petticoats singing in disaccord!

But c’mon. Get real. Get real as in 21st c. real.  Can we not celebrate something a little more, uh, Canadian for this most Canadian of days? Why do we and our elected representatives insist on avoiding this issue because we fear the wrath of the angered mobs of Monarchist League of Canada members riding their motorised scooters to Parliament Hill?

Aren’t they all or shouldn’t they be all dead by now?

I’ll answer by own question – no. They aren’t all dead and I know a couple of misguided souls who are sub-70 in years and who are simply enthralled by the pomp and ceremony that the monarchy offers.  I guess that might be a reason why catholics are attracted to the papacy… the white gowns, totally sick bling and totally pimped out cribs will do that to some folks.

Anyways, in the name of coming up with some more reasonable and less-dead things to attach to the weekend. And risking life and limb – I know – here are some suggestions… feel free to add and maybe I’ll compile a list and send it off to my MP.

o    National Hockey Day
o    National Blackfly Day
o    National Beer Day (after all – May 2-4 is the May 2-4)
o    National It’s Almost Spring in Manitoba Day
o    Pierre Elliott Trudeau Day (bet that would go over well in Red Deer!)
o    Cottage Opening Day


Totally unneccesary invasion of privacy!

I  need everyone who reads this to check out this blog entry by XUP.

I saw an article about this in the Globe the other day and the first thought to cross my mind was “why”?

Why is this technology needed?

I can see the YouTube vids now! EVERYTHING eventually ends up on YouTube! These pics, at the very least, will provide some jollies to more than a few security agents!

“Hey, Ralph, check out the kaboo-boos on this one, ain’t she a treat to the eyes?”
“Sure thing Herman, but ya should seen the bod on this chick that flew to Paris last week!”

Seriously, we have to question this hare-brained idea, and now. What is the impetus for this? Has there been a recent incident where a would-be terrorist has tried to sneak verboten items in his or her body cavities? Where is the “thing” that the CBSA (Can. Border Services Agency) can point to and say: “see – THIS is why we have to do this!”

I’d start a fb group decrying this but as I am a frequent flier, I fear I would be put on someone’s “list”.

Can you tell that I’m really pissed off about this?

Write your MP. Your MPP. Your Mom. Your psychic healer.



Raindrops keep falling on my head…

Ever felt down? Down like your life is pretty much the biggest downer since Old Yeller got the lead put between his eyes? Like your theme song would be too depressing for The Smiths?

Well, thanks to my eldest and most heavily pierced subunit, I now have a place to go to make even my stinkiest days seem a little bit less stinky. Check out this site.

Called FMyLife, it’s kinda like Twitter but the posts have to point out the horriblenesss, pointlessness and worthlessness of the author’s life.

Here’s a taste:

Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for mother’s day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said “You shouldn’t have, pancakes are fattening.” She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML

FML standing for F*** my life.

So, if you are ever having a bad day, take a troll through one of these ditties… or better yet, you can sign up and tell the world just how f***ed your life is on that particular day!

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom’s snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom’s and he proceeded to tell me about this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That’s my mom. FML



President Bartlett went to Notre Dame, didn’t he?

Every now and then – just for comic relief – I go to America’s top source of spin to see what those little minds are spooning out these days.

Came across this story this morning which has me once again wondering why there are a gazillion otherwise sane folks out there who put their heart, mind and faith in the Catholic Church.

The home of the Fighting Irish is granting President Obama an honourary degree and will have him address the graduates. Being a Catholic university, the church is completely apoplectic about these going ons.

‘The proposed granting of an honorary doctorate at Notre Dame University to our president, who is so aggressively advancing an anti-life and anti-family agenda, is rightly the source of the greatest scandal,” said Archbishop Raymond Burke, who is the prefect of the Apostolic Signatura, the Vatican’s highest court.

In a move that somehow resembles sanity, the University is sticking with their plans.

After initial criticism of the invitation, Notre Dame University President Rev. John I. Jenkins called Obama an “inspiring leader” who follows in a long tradition of presidential guest speakers. He added that the invitation does not mean universal support for Obama administration policies.

And here I thought that the church was all about love, tolerance, respect for everyone – and all that mushy stuff.  I guess it doesn’t extend to a black President who just happens to be left of Attila the Hun on the social democratic side of things. He’s even a christian! And from what I read, a pretty steadfast one at that!

Whether or not you support the freedom of a woman to choose or not, ranting on against the choice of a University offering a sitting President an Honourary Degree is not the way to convince others that your view of the world is the right one.

Universities have traditionally been the vanguard of free expression  – whether the school is secular or not. This is a symbolic act that is an expression of the institution’s admiration of a groundbreaking President. This venomous and rabid rant is doing nothing but further exposing the Middle Ages mentality of the vatican.


He blamed loose morals for legislation that would allow same-sex marriages and repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which states have implemented to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

“At the root of the confusion and error about marriage is the contraceptive mentality which would have us believe that the inherently procreative nature of the conjugal union can in practice be mechanically or chemically eliminated while the marital act remains unitive. It simply cannot be sold,” Burke said.

“Loose morals”?  “Contraceptive mentality”? Does this guy know how ridiculaous he sounds?

I don’t know about you, but the vatican could use a visit by some Mexican pigs!



Frank Clair Stadium has been devoured by a giant slug!


I bet this will put a whole new spin on the rebuilding plans!


Arsenal- ah.

Wow! There is a proposal on the table to buy a loser franchise (in terms of revenue and the locals not giving a shit) and relocate it to the Mecca of the hockey universe:  Southern Ontario.

Go Jim Go!!!!!

Although you are a multi millionaire innovative and visionary innovator and I’m but a lowly servant of the Canadian public, I admire your moxy!

Ya wanna build the brand – stay where you’re loved.

Gary Bettman is on crack.

Of course, I’m  overlypissed cuz the Gunners were destroyed by United today… so take my opinions with a big cube of salt.