conservativus canadiansus – The Politics of Cynicism Returns!
The conservativus canadiansus are sensing that they are currently a threatened species – certainly in some parts of the country. The conservativus fleur de lis was struck a deafening blow in the later part of last year when the more common conservativus albertus turned on its own kind and has driven the Québec sub-species to the brink of extinction.
The leaders of the herd (they do travel in herds – much like sheep or lemmings) were at one of the last habitats of the conservativus fleur de lis on the weekend assuring the sub-species that the dominant breed was confident that there really wasn’t a threat of extinction and that these were all lies put out by their primary predator, the griterus canadiansus.
As we were all taught in school, when an animal senses that they are cornered, they will bare their teeth, arch their backs or otherwise try to look bigger and more threatening. Cats and dogs do this. Ducks and geese spread their wings. And the conservativus canadiansus, being the most skittish of all fauna in the political animal kingdom, do likewise.
They are looking at their numbers decreasing across Canada, save for their main habitats in Alberta, Saskatchewan and parts of B.C. So, they try to make themselves look bigger by making their main predators and their leader (the michaelus iggitus) look smaller. They do this by spreading rumours and innuendo among the other animals… saying that the michaelus i. is not really a canadiansus but a dreaded americansus of the dreaded intellectualitis sub-sub species. The conservativus is quite technically adept, using television and radio to get their messages of hate and cynicism out into the Canadian landscape.
But the rest of the animals in Canada are unlikely to by this ploy a second (or third or fourth) time as they, like intelligent creatures are wont to do, beginning to learn that these messages of hate and cynicism do not necessarily make the griterus look smaller. Instead, it is the conservativus that is shrinking. This is especially the case for the ruthless leader of the species harpertus stevo robotus.
Jeffery Simpson of the Globe and Mail recently penned his description of the latest chapter in the conservativus canadiansus’s quest for national domination.
The threatened conservativus canadiansus
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