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Victoria – great name for my eldest kid, but not for a national holiday!

Here in Canada, the celebration of the birthday of a long dead and foreign Queen is more likely to be called the May 2-4 weekend, the May long weekend, cottage opening weekend or the “Holy shit, the blackflies are out” long weekend.

However you dice it, the three days away from the labours of labour are a welcome break for those of us that don’t slave away in jobs that really don’t get “breaks” like these… cops, firedudes, bartenders, hookers, etc.

And I, like everyone else, LOVE it! In fact, I’m taking an extra leave day tomorrow (Friday). The weather forecast is favourable to doing some much-needed lawn and garden work sans enfants et sans ma femme! I may even take a break and hit the gym too! A whole day to myself and then THREE more to boot!!!  Woo-ho!

But wait! What is that grumbly and gravely sound of discontent that is simmering just below my conscious glee? Oh yeah. I remember. I still get pissed with the fact that we have yet to find and agree upon a better occasion to celebrate other than a dead foreign Queen’s birthday! Plus, just look at her! If she was even a little bit hot or super smart or something, then maybe I’d ease up a bit. But just look at her!

vicYeah, yeah – I know a bunch of you neo-monarchists (ain’t that a contradiction?) are simply aghast that once again one of we republicans dare to mention foul things about the sacred monarchy – and only days from that special day itself! Oh, I feel my billowing petticoats singing in disaccord!

But c’mon. Get real. Get real as in 21st c. real.  Can we not celebrate something a little more, uh, Canadian for this most Canadian of days? Why do we and our elected representatives insist on avoiding this issue because we fear the wrath of the angered mobs of Monarchist League of Canada members riding their motorised scooters to Parliament Hill?

Aren’t they all or shouldn’t they be all dead by now?

I’ll answer by own question – no. They aren’t all dead and I know a couple of misguided souls who are sub-70 in years and who are simply enthralled by the pomp and ceremony that the monarchy offers.  I guess that might be a reason why catholics are attracted to the papacy… the white gowns, totally sick bling and totally pimped out cribs will do that to some folks.

Anyways, in the name of coming up with some more reasonable and less-dead things to attach to the weekend. And risking life and limb – I know – here are some suggestions… feel free to add and maybe I’ll compile a list and send it off to my MP.

o    National Hockey Day
o    National Blackfly Day
o    National Beer Day (after all – May 2-4 is the May 2-4)
o    National It’s Almost Spring in Manitoba Day
o    Pierre Elliott Trudeau Day (bet that would go over well in Red Deer!)
o    Cottage Opening Day


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  1. “Plus, just look at her! If she was even a little bit hot or super smart or something, then maybe I’d ease up a bit. But just look at her!”

    I don’t make judgments on a woman’s intelligence or worthiness to have a holiday based on how she looks. Sorry.

    “I know a bunch of you neo-monarchists”

    How exactly is a ‘neo-monarchist’ different from just a ‘monarchist’?

    “But c’mon. Get real. Get real as in 21st c. real. Can we not celebrate something a little more, uh, Canadian for this most Canadian of days?”

    You mean like our current Queen’s birthday? (Victory Day also serves as Her Majesty’s official birthday) Its the 21st century and Canada is a monarchy. Therefore on this most Canadian of days I will celebrate the Canadian Crown and the freedoms we enjoy under it.

    “Aren’t they all or shouldn’t they be all dead by now?”

    Wished dead at 27. Oh well, that’s nothing new.

    “National Hockey Day”

    Golf has overtaken hockey as the most-played sport in Canada.

    “National Blackfly Day”

    You REALLY don’t like monarchy do you?

    “National Beer Day”

    MADD Canada might not like this.

    “National It’s Almost Spring in Manitoba Day”

    Inaccurate if global warming keeps up.

    “Pierre Elliott Trudeau Day (bet that would go over well in Red Deer!)”

    I thought you wanted a list of ‘not dead’ things?

    “Cottage Opening Day (1789)”

    And what if you don’t have enough money to own a cottage, eh? Sounds a bit elitist to me. 🙂

  2. trashee says:

    LOL! The more you write Squid-dude, the more I see we are of the same character in many ways… lotsa differences of opinion, but surprise, surprise… I too like to be the asshole once in a while…. just because..
    Oh, and I still think you’re out to lunch on the airport peepshow issue.

  3. Even though I know the name is Victoria Day, I tend to refer to it as Empire Day, just to torque people up… ’cause I’m kind of an asshole that way.

  4. Royalist says:

    Monarchy Day could be an acceptable option for the Canadian Monarchists, but it will certainly not please republicans. Besides that I agree with Evolving Squid: The Queen is no foreigner, neither Queen Victoria nor Queen Elizabeth II.

    1. trashee says:

      I heartily disagree. The queen is a foreign figurehead “ruler” of a foreign land. While she technically is the head of state and is represented by the governor-general here in Canada, it is nothing more than an antiquated and symbolic role. One that costs Canadian (and Australian) taxpayers oodles of dollars to prop up.

      And for what?


  5. trashee says:

    Hey Darin – don’t get Gordo going on about this!
    Same here XUP – though to be fair – we Feds do get days that the regular folk do not… just pointing that out… that’s all!

  6. XUP says:

    I’m taking tomorrow off too, just to get stuff done so I can do nothing the other 3 days. I don’t know why they pick on that queen in particular. Why not just plain Monarchy Day? Hardly anyone calls in Victoria Day anyhow, they always just say May Long Weekend. Personally, I don’t care what they call it, as long as they don’t change it to one of those February everyone-but-the-federal-public-service-gets-it-off days

  7. Irrespective of what you think of the monarchy, the queen is not a foreign queen. She’s queen of Canada. That makes her as Canadian as any of us.

    In any case, the holiday was (and still is in the UK, I think) “Empire Day”. It was changed at some point in the past to Victoria Day because the empire concept became distasteful.

    While I think it’s quaint that we still have a queen, I really do think we should dump the monarchy, make the GG into “President” and make that position and the senate elected, rather than appointed by political artifice.

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