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May 10th, 2009:

Raindrops keep falling on my head…

Ever felt down? Down like your life is pretty much the biggest downer since Old Yeller got the lead put between his eyes? Like your theme song would be too depressing for The Smiths?

Well, thanks to my eldest and most heavily pierced subunit, I now have a place to go to make even my stinkiest days seem a little bit less stinky. Check out this site.

Called FMyLife, it’s kinda like Twitter but the posts have to point out the horriblenesss, pointlessness and worthlessness of the author’s life.

Here’s a taste:

Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for mother’s day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said “You shouldn’t have, pancakes are fattening.” She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML

FML standing for F*** my life.

So, if you are ever having a bad day, take a troll through one of these ditties… or better yet, you can sign up and tell the world just how f***ed your life is on that particular day!

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom’s snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom’s and he proceeded to tell me about this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That’s my mom. FML